Seven years ago, I moved into my first apartment alone. Before that, I’d always had roommates or lived with family - but the shoddy walkup with thin walls on Harrison Street was the first place I called my own. It was everything I ever wanted - big windows, beautiful old trees lining the street and a huge living space to host friends and guests. And yet, I never hosted any big gatherings there.
In 1990, only 3 percent of Americans said they had no close friends; in 2021, nearly 12 percent said the same. The United States is in the grips of a loneliness crisis that predates the Covid pandemic.
Dr. Marisa Franco, a psychologist who studies friendship, says that a major misconception that people have is believing that friendship happens organically. In fact, research has shown that people who think friendship happens organically — based on luck — are lonelier. You really have to try and put yourself out there.
At work one day, I overheard one of my coworkers talking about hosting a Dungeons & Dragons game at her house that weekend. My knowledge of D&D was pretty much limited to the kids on Stranger Things screaming over the Demogorgon. I wasn’t sure if this was the right hobby for me, but I thought that it could be a great way to make a friend.
I asked my coworker about playing, and she invited me to watch her and her friends play a session of Pathfinder - a similar game with slightly different rules. From the first minute, I was hooked. I went home that night and googled: “how to learn to play Pathfinder” - and that was the start of a new hobby, a new community and many new friends. I put myself out there, tried something new and it paid off in spades.
I’m writing this after returning from my first major gaming convention, where several of those new friends had a booth to promote their podcast, The Glass Cannon Network. The strength of community at Gen Con was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The best four days in gaming brought together 70,000 people from across the country who share a passion - and it was incredible to be a part of it. I reunited with some of my good buddies, met new friends and above all, got to welcome others into the hobby that forever changed my life.
While it’s one of my favorite pasttimes, I know gaming isn’t for everyone - and that’s okay! But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the past seven years, it’s that taking a risk and trying something new can pay off in big ways - including making some of your best friends. While I don’t live on Harrison Street anymore, finding this hobby has brought me enough friends to squeeze into that apartment like a can of sardines. Put yourself out there! It’s worth it.